Motherhood

Being a mom is hard!  McCoy has acid reflux and sometimes will just start screaming and I don't know what to do to help him.  I cry a lot because I want to take his hurt away.  I am sleep deprived and feeling so inexperienced. 

All that said, I just fed my baby boy and he looked into my eyes the whole time and he is now asleep on the floor in his little jungle.  He is so sweet and we continue to bond more and more each day.  You can't tell someone how much they will love their child.  I love him more and more each day.  Everyone told me that I had no idea what I was getting myself into and they were right.  I had no idea what this would be like.  It is harder than I thought it would be, but it is so much sweeter than I thought it would be.

I love watching Brian be a dad to McCoy.  He loves him so much and is sometimes so much more patient than I am.  My boy continues to grow and sleep more and more in the night.  We are both learning how to do this mother/son thing and things can only get better from here!

McCoy Brian Aardema

So, if you are not interested in the birth story, then you can just look at the cute pictures of my son. 

July 3rd-I went in for my doctor's appointment and my blood pressure was really high and I had had a headache for a couple of days.  My doctor said he wanted to be safe rather than sorry with preaclampsia (sp?).  It was time to get this baby out.  He scheduled me to be induced the next night.

July 4th-Brian and I went to the hospital a little after eight and I checked in and took the pills to start the process.  By the morning I had dialated a whole .8 inches so they started the pitossin (sp?).  I was exhausted at this point and in a lot of pain because the nurse blew a vein and they had a hard time getting my IV in.

July 5th-The doctor came in at about 7:30 that morning and tried to break my water and I about kicked him in the face.  So they gave me the epidural, which was also excruciatingly painful for me, and then he came back and broke my water.  He came back at about 3 and I had only dialated to a 2 and the baby had not moved down.  I was just not making progress so I was scheduled for a c section. 

 The anastesiologist came in and gave me the extra dose of medicine and I started shaking violently.  They said this was normal and wheeled me back in for the surgery.  I shook the whole time and Brian sat up by my head and held my hand.  10 minutes in, at about 5:38p.m, we heard the most beautiful sound I have ever heard, our baby's cry.  Brian went over and met him while they finished up with me and then Brian brought him over to me and I got to meet him.  We both just sat there and cried at this beautiful little boy.  My parents and sister were waiting in my room and then all of the picture taking began. 

We stayed in the hopsital for 4 days and had lots of visitors.  McCoy is one loved little boy.  It is so great to be home and it is even greater to have my parents here helping out when we need them to. 

I went and got hooded!

Here is one of the pictures that we took.  This is with my coworker who was there during it all with me!  We sat through summer classes together and emailed each other about our projects.  We even stayed in the same hotel in Cedar.  During the ceremony, the name caller guy messed up and actually called her Shirley Aardema.  We are bonded for life now!  It was fun.  I will post more pictures when I can get Brian to give them to me off of his camera. ;)

Freak out moment!

I am sick...again!  I was proud of myself though because I persevered and made dinner last night anyway and it was really good.  I even brought some for lunch today.  Anyway, I think baby boy could feel my uneasiness and was kicking like CRAZY last night.  Whenever he does this, I always yell to Brian to come quickly and feel him.  I love watching his eyes light up as he feels our baby kick his hand.  So of course we started talked about when we will get to meet this little guy.  I told him that we are almost in the single digits for number of weeks we have left.  Brian started to take deep breaths.  He then looked at me, with wide eyes, and said, "If he comes early, then that means we are already are in the single digits for weeks left.  He could be coming in 8 weeks!"  We both just looked at each other and then started laughing because we didn't know what else to do. 

MANY people have told us that we have no idea what we are getting ourselves into, and we don't, but we are really excited to find out and to meet our cute little boy in x amount of weeks! :)

Changes

I have been thinking a lot about changes lately, both that have already happened and that are coming in my life. One of the biggest ones is my immediate family. The first picture is of our family at Christmas of 2009. The second one is at our family reunion right after my wedding and it is still not the most updated. In July, I will be getting a new baby and then a brother-in-law! Those are both firsts for me. I have, obviously, never been a mom and I only have one sister so Thor will be my first brother-in-law. It is amazing to see how much my family has/will change in 2 and a half short years.

Change is so fun, don't you think?

My new best friend

So this last weekend we went to St. George for Brian's cousin's wedding. We thought we would make a weekend out of it. Why didn't anyone tell me that a road trip while pregnant was not a great idea?!? Brian and his mom sat in front and I sprawled in the back with this pillow. We also stayed in my grandma's condo where the bed is not great. By the time we got back to Salt Lake last night, I was limping around because my nerve in my behind was totally pinched. Anytime I would adjust in the car, baby boy would soccer punch me or kick me really hard. I would tell him, "okay, I get it. You are not comfortable! I will move."

The saddest part of this story...Brian and I are making that trip at least 2 and maybe 3 more times before I give birth to this boy. Pray that I don't die!

My baby BOY!

We found out yesterday that we are having a boy! I am already in love. He is so adorable, if I do say so myself. I think Brian had a reality check yesterday as he watched our little boy move around in my belly. We really are having a baby. He said the cutest thing today though. He called me and said, "now I just want it to be time for the baby to come out."

We are both so anxious to meet him in July!

Almost 1/2 way there!

Me at 18 weeks

Since I wrote such a negative post last time, I thought I would write the things that I love about being pregnant!

1. The biggest thing is the change I see in Brian. He was an incredible man before, but he is going to be the world's best dad (I am not biased or anything :))
-I love those moments when he just puts his hand on my belly and bonds with the baby. I feel like I am invading their personal time.
-I love when he talks to the baby and tells it all the things that we have planned for it.
-He is totally nesting right now. Sometimes I wonder what our house will look like when I come home. He wants to get everything just right for baby.
-He babies me, which is so nice. He cooks dinner and cleans and rubs my feet.

2. People tell me how cute I look all the time.
-Even if I just rolled out of bed and barely made it to work on time, people still tell me I am cute because I have a baby bump.

3. I have started to feel baby move and it is the coolest feeling. It is crazy to think that there is a human growing inside me.

4. People ask me how I am doing every time they see me and it makes me feel so loved.

Even though it has been a rough pregnancy for me so far, I am so thrilled to be pregnant and I can't wait to find out what we are having in 2 weeks!

Venting

So, I had my first pregnancy breakdown today. Poor Brian had to calm me down while I was sobbing to him on the phone and then told him that I didn't really know why I was crying. I think there are many things that led up to/contribute to this breakdown.

1. I am EXHAUSTED! I am teaching 24, very rambunctious students this year and it is a hard job. I am also doing my master's so when I get home from teaching, I do homework of my own. I am starting to not sleep at night because my lower back feels like an iron pole is sticking into it no matter what position I lay in.

2. I have a coworker who does not love that I am pregnant and is now waiting for me to make mistakes and when I do, she points them out with hurtful comments that a person can only take so much of.

3. I threw up last night for the third time in 3 days and I am discouraged because I thought that phase was over, especially since I am on medication for it.

4. I am trying to be the perfect wife, friend, daughter, person and it is not working out for me.

5. I am pregnant and my emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE. I try to control them, but they have a mind of their own.

I LOVE this baby so much already and am so excited to be pregnant. Do not misunderstand this vent session for regret or unhappiness. I have the world's best husband who is doing everything he knows how to do to help make me happy. I love him so much more for that. No one told me the hard things about pregnancy. I am just learning it on my own and learning so much about myself in the process. It will be fun to hold that cute baby in 5 and 1/2 short months.

Goodbye and hello!

I would like to say goodbye to the first trimester and hello to the second! I have heard it is the best of the three. I just hope I can be done throwing up. I lost 10 pounds in four weeks. Here is a belly picture and I, of course, think I look huge, but Brian thinks I am not really showing.