Today I have been asking myself a lot of why questions.
"Why can't I be more patient with that student that pushes my buttons?"
"Why can't I come home from work and have a desire to make dinner for my husband?"
"Why can't I learn to think before I speak?"
But the biggest question today has been, "why did McCoy choose me as his mother?" Everyone told me that I would have some sort of mother's intuition when I had kids and that I would know if something was wrong with my baby. Well, something is wrong with my baby, but I have no idea what it is! He wakes up crying at night and won't take a bottle. He is skinny and we can't get him to eat more than 4 ounces every 3 hours. He arches his back and cries in pain when he eats sometimes. He has started refusing to eat solids and he has stopped napping in his crib. He is already on the reflux medication so it must be something else.
Another why..."why did Heavenly Father give me this difficult baby knowing that it kills me to not be able to fix something." I sit here shedding a few tears as I write this because my sweet baby is hurting and I can't fix it.
But isn't that the great thing about life. We are given all these why's and we figure out the answers along our journey. I have never been good with babies so maybe this is my chance to become more comfortable with babies and with myself. Who knows.
All I know is that I love my little guy and I am SO glad he picked me to be his mommy!
1 comment:
That is so hard to have a crying baby and not be able to help him. Do you think he could have some sort of food allergy? That sounds similar to a friend's situation and the child ended up being allergic to almost everything. Maybe that's a route you could try? (I'm not trying to be presumptuous, just trying to make a suggestion that you may not have thought of and I only did because of the one friend) Have your pediatrician help, they're there help you make your child as happy and healthy as possible.
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