My Job is Taxing!

If you don't like to read the rantings of Karlie Jones then stop reading now. This is my outlet to get some thoughts out today. I had a district meeting today and my mentor teacher from my 6th grade student teaching class was there. I asked him how the kids were doing and if he kept in contact with them. He told me that they are enjoying their 8th grade year and they come and visit once in a while. He then told me that one of my favorite students committed suicide at the beginning of the summer. My heart dropped to my feet and I had to go to the bathroom to have a little cry and hold it in for later when I can be alone and really let it out. This kid was going to start 8th grade! He felt so alone and lost that he felt the need to take his own life. He was also getting into gangs.
Those who know me well know that I blamed myself. I really bonded with this kid and I felt like I had made a difference in his life. It is so hard to know that you have no control over their lives as soon as they walk out of your classroom door. I get so attached to the kids and want to help them in their lives even outside of school. My job is hard! Anyone who says otherwise, I would like to see you do it for a week and then tell me how you feel.